Chinese authorities destroyed two tons of chocolate almond cake imported by IKEA after excessive amounts of coliform bacteria--which is present in fecal matter--were detected in it. This comes on the heels of the Swedish retailer having to withdraw its sausage and meatballs from various marketplaces due to the presence of horse meat. Of the newfound crap cake, company spokesperson Ylva Magnusson said: "The product was stopped and destroyed. So none of the cakes made it to our restaurants." How reassuring.