Hopefully none of these are on your Christmas list.
1. Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab
Only available from 1951–1952, this science kit for CHILDREN included four types of uranium ore, a Geiger counter, a comic called Dagwood Spits the Atom, and a coupon for ordering MORE radioactive materials. One of the four uranium ores included was Po-210 (Polonium) which, by mass, is 250,000 times more toxic than hydrogen cyanide. "Merry Christmas, Kevin, here's that giant box of poison you asked for."
2. The Belt Buckle Derringer Toy Gun
Introduced by Mattel in 1959, this little cap gun looks like a regular belt buckle to the unsuspecting bad guy/victim. However, when you "extend" your stomach, the gun flips out and allows you to fire off a round. Ignoring the fact that stomach extension is a strange way to trigger anything, the gun was banned because it could accidentally be ignited by friction, causing burns in the crotch area of many presumably traumatized children.
3. Steve the Tramp Action Figure
What's that? Steve the Tramp Action Figure sounds lamer than The Sopranos' finale? Well, you're right, but he wasn't banned for being a snooze fest. The action figure, released along with the 1990 Dick Tracy film, came in a box printed with the phrase "ignorant bum...you'll smell him before you see him." This offended a few people, causing Steve to be kicked to the curb (poor choice of words).
4. Aqua Dots
Based on that "2007 Toy of the Year" award, it's apparent children love creating art out of beads that stick together when sprayed with water. The only issue is that if children swallowed the dots (which they of course did because, hello, look at the colors!), they would get sick and or potentially die. Once swallowed, the coating on the dots could become gamma hydroxybutyrate, which can cause seizures, unconsciousness, and drowsiness.
5. Snack Time Cabbage Patch Kid
All the fun of a Cabbage Patch Kid (read: very little), now with chewing action! The Snack Time Cabbage Patch Kid came with a motorized mouth so you could, you know, feed it? Great. The problem was that the little gremlin had a jaw powerful enough to rip hair from the roots, should Becky be so careless as to get her head within biting distance. After a flood of injury reports, the CPSC forced the toy to be pulled from the shelves. [Side note: The doll pooped its snacks out into its backpack. Unsanitary.]
6. Children's Books Older than 1985
Congress put a ban on the resale of any child's book older than Purple Rainbecause the ink used in printing them could contain a dangerous level of lead. What constitutes a dangerous level of lead for a child? Pretty much any. So much for solving the mystery of the desert giant.
7. Bucky Balls (almost)
These tiny magnetic balls can be reshaped into anything you want (say, a bigger magnetic ball, perhaps?) but of course appeared far too appetizing to children despite their chrome exterior and lack of food resemblance. After dozens of children (some a little too old to be doing that kind of thing) swallowed the balls and required bowel surgery for removal, Bucky Balls were banned this past summer. You can still find them online, but the company is currently in the middle of several lawsuits, so don't expect them to be around much longer.
8. Lawn Darts (Jarts)
Giant pointy metal darts being tossed in the air as a recreational activity = banned as f***. Despite being banned in the U.S. in 1989, there are still lawn dart tournaments held annually throughout the country. If you're interested in acquiring a set of lawn darts (because perhaps you like to live on the edge), you'll have to order the pieces separately and assemble them yourselves. But don't worry, plenty of websites offer guidance for this.
BONUS BANNED ITEM: Blank CDs from Iran
U.S. Customs lists that a CD with informational material or music on them are permitted, but goes on to specify that "blank tapes and blank CDs are not informational materials."
